I fucking give up.  I give the FUCK up. I’ve really been trying to improve certain areas of my life that I’m unsatisfied with.  I’ve done the following and have come to these conclusions:

Romance:  I’ve been on Plenty of Fish, Match.com, and eHarmony.  All in that order, so you see the level of desperation I reached.  I don’t know what the deal is with these SoCal guys but I fucking give up.  The last two guys I dated both dumped me (which I believe are the only times I’ve ever been dumped).  Back to back like that was pretty crude though.  I feel like I’m fucking CRAY-CRAY.  Why is this so hard??  All I want is a cool dude to go see Gym Class Heroes with me.  So much BULLSHIT goes into dating.  Fucking shaving your legs on the regular, hair did, nails did, made up like a fucking doll.  You have to smell amazing, dress the perfect amount of lady and sexy, and order only things you can look cute not like a fucking cow while eating.  I know everyone says that bullshit like “Someone will come along the moment you stop looking!” Yea…ok…WHATEVER.  I give the fuck up and am too depleted to even notice if someone comes along. 

Location:  I FUCKING LOATHE ORANGE COUNTY and have since the day I moved here.  The ONLY reason I’m still in OC is because my job (that I LOVE) is here.  It took me a long time, too long, to realize why OC sucks and why LA rocks.  In LA I was so THRILLED to be so close to all the places I love that I didn’t care two shits about the people.  I lucked out and met great people but I could of easily had met shitty people and not of cared.  Orange FUCKING County SUCKS as a location and the people suck balls (minus my OC friends).  Fucking Bros and BroHoes can suck a fucking fat Bro cock. Mark my words:  I AM MOVING TO LONG BEACH BY JUNE 2012.  I’d move right now but this is the first house I’ve lived in with no drama (*knocks violently on wood with both hands*)

Partying:  PAST IT!  I’ve done a number on my liver.  I can no longer drink liquor, and can’t have too much wine or beer without a gnarly ass hangover that only ice cream can cure.  Fuck it.  I never liked clubs.  Glad to stay home with a bottle of wine and a indie flick! 

I’ve recently become obsessed with:

-Mindy Kaling’s book “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)”

-X Factor (I watch the videos on youtube and normally end up crying hysterically)

-Doing this weird thing with my throat that’s like a nervous tick.  I do it so much it hurts when I do it now.  I don’t know how to stop.  What a freak…

-Drinking Lipton Cold Brew Tea (which I put a shit ton of Splenda in and now must stop because apparently Splenda in mass quantity isn’t good for you)

-Carl’s Jr. Spicy Chicken Sandwich

-Fresh N Easy!!  (Where the fuck have you been all my life?!)

-“With a Little Help From My Friends” - The Joe Cocker version

-Sleeping pills

-JustinTV!

-Waiting for the huge $5 sale at Charlotte Russe (if you hear something you better report to me STAT!)

-Talking shit on Netflix and how I’m going to cancel my account even though I STILL haven’t

and other things.  I have a VERY obsessive personality.

Things I’m Never Doing Again:

-Date a guy that doesn’t drink

-Live in Orange Fucking County (or south of LA at all)

-Let people drink or apply make up in my car (Janis has stains out the ass!

-Drink 2 bottles of champagne in a 4 hour period

-Get back into Gossip Girl

-Get back into drinking 4Lokos

-Leave a gnarly ass spider unattended in my room thinking it won’t move

-Get shitfaced at a work event

This is the longest post I’ve done in a while.  Maybe if I blog more I’ll be less angsty. 

-M

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